This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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