My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
