And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...