So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
