We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
