Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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