How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
