I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
