That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize