sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
