She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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