My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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