I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize