Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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