That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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