Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
