I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
