while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not