Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
