So drunk its hurt
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.