I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
