Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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