New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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