Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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