I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
