I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
