just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sex in the backyard? Check.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
