i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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