You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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