Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
