why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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