i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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