she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
