Are we in a gay sports bar?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
