At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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