My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
