EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
