Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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