If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
