I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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