Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This baby is an asshole
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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