I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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