apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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