How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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