obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize