You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
