So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
