elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
