It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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