My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
