You're my little dorito
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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