Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
