I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
