PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
