She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
