I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize