yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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