Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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