It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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