There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize