Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
