This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
