Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
