you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
